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Love, Gratitude, and Peace

21/1/2014

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This photo is my 8 year old self with my godmother Renate.

I've been doing daily energy work sessions with her since the holidays, as she is approaching her final transitioning. It's been a sweet and sometimes delicate process of being with her as she is leaving this life slowly. I call her, and if she feels up to talking she shares with me how she is and what she needs, and then we hang up and I do long distance energy work (she is in Germany). She says the energy work helps her be in less pain, sleep better, and feel more at peace.

At times, she's struggling with the many aspects of her body deteriorating with the effects of an inoperable cancer. At other times, especially lately, she is full of gratitude for her life, even now. There is a peace that radiates out from her that touches me and pulls me into it, too. It's been a real gift to witness this process as she opens to the Light and to the Peace that she is moving into. The gratitude is as much mine as it is hers. Her radiance touches my heart, and so does her very human fragility. It's a mysterious process that she is in, unpredictable from one day to the next, but so very sacred.

I used to love my aunt Renate so totally as only children can love. Then our lives moved apart for a long time ... to intertwine again when I saw her last summer, just after she had received her cancer diagnosis. So this blog is lovingly dedicated to Renate, to our connection, and to the loving giving and receiving that has been part of it since it started. I am happy I can accompany you and return loving care to you now, dear Renate, before you leave us for good! May you journey gently and easily! 

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Sweetly alive

31/12/2013

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Last night’s meeting with my ex ‘Big Love of my Life’ left me in a very raw and wordless place. It used to be very painful and grief-ridden. There were moments of sadness, but when I turned to it, it was just very raw, stunningly so, without a story. There was love for this heart, so human in its attachment and love. And all there is today is a sweet love, wanting nothing but to savor this sweetness.

Gratitude for the heart having been called to come alive so sweetly. The flower ... an expression of this sweet aliveness.

With much love to all of you!

grace
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The magic of showing up

24/4/2013

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Yesterday was one of those days! I just didn’t feel good, and there was no way I was going to write the overdue monthly column for Main Street, the English Language newspaper in the Laurentians, as the creative juices simply don’t flow in those kinds of states. 

On top of this I had a music lesson as well. I didn’t feel up to that either, but I knew I couldn’t cancel last minute. So I went, and I explained my situation to Kalyan, who is a wonderful, award-winning musician and a most amazing teacher. 

‘So what do you do when you feel like this?’ I asked. 



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What if I get angry?

19/3/2013

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What does it mean, then, to love it all when anger arises? First of all, it means accepting ourselves in our emotional reaction instead of judging the anger and ourselves as not ok, or feeling guilty or even ashamed about it.
I write a column for Main Street, the English newspaper in the Laurentians, that has ‘Loving it All’ as a title. So some of you, including myself at points, must wonder whether this is a realistic proposition. Can we really love it all? And if we do, what about all the emotions and thoughts that are far from being positive, let alone loving?
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So I got really pissed off today! It was over an exchange I had with a good friend of mine. The details don’t really matter. Anger showed up … and it inspired me to write about how ‘loving it all’ could apply to it.

I just want to say that I don’t have all the answers. I’m a human being learning to live her life, just as you are. I’m also a therapist, counselor and workshop leader, helping others to live their life better and less painfully. So I spend more time dealing with and reflecting on these themes than most people, and that’s certainly a qualifying mark. But the fact that I can have quite a temper myself is probably even more à propos. I know what I’m talking about!


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When Things Fall Apart

22/1/2013

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Stay open to things falling into place in ways that you simply couldn’t have dreamt of before, and then who knows what will happen?
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I recently came across this image on the internet. Interesting thought, isn’t it?

I’ll come back to it in a moment.This year’s winter is tough on us. The colder and snowier the winter, the more of our energy it takes to deal with it: shoveling snow, staying warm, keeping in good spirits. Conversely, the less energy we have for our day-to-day life, work, and projects, including the famous New Year’s resolutions. So the good intentions we had for this year may already be falling by the wayside. Victims of a hard winter? Not only, of course, but it does take energy to focus, and when our energy is taken up elsewhere it’s definitely harder to pursue our new goals and projects.

So let’s take a moment to be kind with ourselves. Let’s allow ourselves to be human-all-too-human without berating ourselves or giving ourselves bad grades. A rough winter is enough of a challenge, there’s no need to add insult to injury.


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Old habits and new challenges (Main Street column January 2013)

30/12/2012

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For this New Year, I wish you good health and happiness in all ways … and just the right balance between the easy groove of old habits and the invigorating excitement of new experiments!
There is nothing like a four-day power outage to catapult us right out of our habitual way of life into a scramble of creative responses and improvised solutions! Of course not everybody in the Laurentians was equally affected by this pre-Christmas gift of tons of snow and trees on power lines. I met a colleague in the supermarket who has municipal water and a gas stove, and who told me that it wasn’t a big deal for her family. The situation was definitely more precarious for me: I was functioning without running water, cooking on a basic little wood stove in the basement, and relying on candle light and a pocket lamp once it got dark.

It was certainly a very interesting experience, the longest I have had to face since I moved to the Laurentians seven and a half years ago. I enjoyed the sense of adventure, and I had some brilliant and some not so bright ideas about how to deal with the various challenges along the way. I also realized just how much time and energy are spent on the essentials of life when we have to make do without the creature comforts that we usually take for granted. 


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